A couple years ago I wrote a devotion about FEAR.
I told the story of when as a child, my cousins, my brother and myself would play “Hide and Seek.”
We’d wait till dark and we’d play hide and seek using our Grandpa’s garage, sheds and just the sheer darkness to hide from one another.
I’d usually win each game when I wasn’t afraid to sneak out past where the other boys were afraid to go.
Sometimes though, FEAR of the unknown kept me from winning.
Some of the common fears are Rejection, Abandonment, Ridicule, Failure and Change.
We must remember that FEAR stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
FEAR can absolute control us, if we allow it to. It can keep us from taking a chance and following our dreams.
FEAR can also sway us into making bad and rash decisions that could harm our marriage and our commitments to each other.
If someone asked you what was your deepest fear, you probably would hesitate to tell them. Why? I would guess because it would make you feel vulnerable. During one of our latest devotions, fear was the subject matter. Shall we say… Sc-aaa-reeee-y. Scary for me because I do not like the feeling of being vulnerable. However, this was not just “someone” I was discussing my vulnerability with; this was my husband,
Bryan and I have been in each others lives for over a decade. You would think there is probably not much that we do not already know about one another. You would be right. That was exactly my thought. This devotion book The One Year Love Language Minute devotional by Gary Chapman has proven me wrong. Maybe it’s the devotional; but maybe it’s also our purposeful willingness to go deeper in our relationship. It is our focus. It pushes us to give more, be more willing to share and be more vulnerable.
The way I deal with fear relates back to numbers. For anyone who knows me, this will not be a surprise. These are the statistics on fears that actually come true.
Fear and Worry Statistics Data
Percent of things feared that will never take place 60 %
Percent of things feared that happened in the past and can’t be changed 30 %
Percent of things feared that are considered to be insignificant issues 90 %
Percent of things feared in relation to health that will not happen 88 %
Number of Americans who have a diagnosed phobia 6.3 Million
So, I actually say to myself the statistics . Ninety percent of what I fear will not come true. This in itself washes the anxiety away. When it comes back, I say it again. I remind myself that the things in my life I consider tragic and painful, I couldn’t have dreamed as a possibility if I had tried. My biggest obstacle now though is that I am old enough to realize that on occasion your deepest fear does happen. It’s happened to me. It was horribly painful. Yet, I know that God was there amidst my emotional pain. He has been with me through my emotional recovery. But let me be clear; it is difficult. For some, fear can be crippling. It can lead to depression, anxiety disorders and distorted views of reality.
So, that is why you need your spouse as a partner in the battle. Why I encourage you to draw close to one another and share your fears. If he knows what you fear, he can change his behavior to help you with your fear and can remind you that he is in the fight with you. This is a bonding experience. While it is uncomfortable at first it is well worth the benefits in my case.
There must be absolutes in our marriage relationship.
Fear has the potential to cause our rational thinking to be skewed.
We must share our FEARS with our spouse and have the assurance that our concerns will be heard.
Our spouse may not completely understand or be able to relate to our particular fear, so both parties must be patient, understanding and loving.
Keep a worry log. Revisit the log in 30 days and see what percent of your fears actually came true. This can show you over a period of time that your worries do not actually , in most cases, come true.
1 John 4:18
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
We also must share our fears with our Heavenly Father. Pray and ask His help in dealing with those fears. Allow His word, His TRUTH to saturate your mind and your soul. His truth can and will set you free from the fear.
Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
2 Timothy 1:7
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”