As Y and I were discussing this month’s article’s subject matter, we thought of the situation that I’ve faced over the last month and a half.
This past February we once again took part in the annual “Singing At Sea Cruise.”
Soul’d Out performed three times during those 5 days and Y and I also (once again) hosted “The Newlywed Game”.
We disembarked Saturday morning and actually did not have a concert anywhere that evening. Sunday morning, I woke up with a little tingle on my vocal chords. I honestly believed at the time, that I was just vocally tired from singing and talking so much on the Cruise.
As Soul’d Out began singing that Sunday morning, I had a little difficulty singing, but I was able to get through our service. However, that evening at our concert, in Pensacola, FL, I literally had NO voice. It was so bad that the other guys in Soul’d Out were taking turns singing my solo lines in different songs. I’ve NEVER had that happen in my 30 years of singing.
We arrived home on Monday and I was able to go to my Doctor. He prescribed me an antibiotic for an Upper Respiratory Infection. However, within minutes of leaving his office, I broke out in a fever and began several days of coughing. Then it was determined that I had a Viral Infection.
Over the next 4 weeks, every note that I ATTEMPTED to sing was a battle. I did not know if my voice (at every concert) was going to work or not.
See, I know those weeks of my vocal uncertainty was not easy for Yvonne to deal with. I, (like most men) are NOT good patients. When most people are sick, they WANT help. I want to be left alone. Then add on top of that, the one thing (Singing) that I’ve always known that I could do-was NOT working. I felt defeated.
I was honestly wondering if I’d have to find another source of income.
However, instead of losing her patience with me, (most WOULD have) Yvonne did her best to encourage me. She wrote “healing” and encouraging scriptures on index cards for me to read every day.
Even on the nights that I told her that “I butchered THAT song”, she encouraged and prayed for me.
I’m thankful for the way that she honors our vows, in this case, “In Sickness and In Health.”
I think many may repeat back the vows the minister recites for them to follow along and repeat back without full understanding, at the time, of exactly what that looks like up close. For instance, the in sickness & in health part of the marriage vows sounds almost romantic. Movies have portrayed many times a spouse lovingly caring for the other. While watching it you almost fall in love with the idea of how romantic it appears.
Let’s be clear. Sickness is not romantic. It’s painful for everyone involved. Loving someone when they are sick can be a test of your testimony at times. I’m not talking about caring for your spouse during a battle that may take their life. I’m talking about the sickness that is annoying. The one you can take meds for and it will clear up. The type of sickness that makes you miserable for a short time.
First, you feel badly for your spouse that they are suffering. In some cases, you don’t know what you’ll say that may irritate them. Because their own patience with being sick has come and gone. They may be short tempered, moody, not follow directions of the meds they’re supposed to take and the list goes on and on.
Next, let’s assume everyone tries to fill in the gap of household responsibilities to lessen the load of their sick spouse. Only to have it met with stubbornness and more attitude. We all know we want to tow our part no matter if we’re sick or not. But the most important part of the whole puzzle is to not forget you’re a team; no matter the opponent. You have to get that through your head and then you can make some progress in the battle (the physical & emotional battle). You also need to love the way Jesus loves. Love without expectation. Love when met with attitude (I just call it â€œTudeâ€). Love can also be tough love. Love that is delivered in a manner to show you are looking after your spouse’s health & well being which they may not want to hear but need to hear. You have to deliver that kinda of love with tenderness & courage all at the same time. If tough love is not delivered in that manner, your already sick spouse may feel scolded or a source of anger for you. Be thoughtful with that one. And above all, pray. Pray for everyone involved.
Dealing with those difficult days where your spouse is sick, is not easy.
1) Pray for them. Pray specifically for God to strengthen them.
2) Write out healing and encouraging scriptures that they can read aloud.
3) Pray for yourself they God will give you wisdom and understanding during these difficult days.
4) Extend a little more grace to your spouse than necessary.
5) Listen carefully. Speak kindly.
â€œThat is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.â€
â€â€Genesisâ€¬ â€2:24â€¬ â€
â€œDo everything in love.â€
â€â€1 Corinthiansâ€¬ â€16:14â€¬ â€NIVâ€¬â€¬
â€œGrace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.â€
â€â€Ephesiansâ€¬ â€6:24â€¬ â€NIVâ€¬â€¬
Keep loving each other.
The Hutsonâ€™s 2016
Rescue Me Ministries
(Search Rescue Me Ministries on Facebook for encouraging, challenging and helpful tips on marriage and family.)