As many of you know, Y and I have been in the process of recording 2 music CDs for Rescue Me Ministries.
Two weeks ago, I went back to Declaration 212 Productions in Harrisburg, IL for the Mix. The Mix is where you listen to every musical note, vocal note, verse, chorus and every aspect of the song. In fact, you listen to the song several times. I went back into the vocal room and “fixed” (re-sang) a couple words on a different songs. Stepping away for a few days and listening again, you hear things that you missed before.
See, there are songs “out there” that I’m NOT happy with my performance.Â Songs recorded early on in my career or pieces of a song that I said â€œI can live with that.â€
So, I’m glad I repaired a few things.
During the Mixing of “Hallelujah”, James Rainey and I were listening to the chorus’ where Y joins me. This song was one that Y was SO passionate about recording. There was so much emotion in her voice. We came across a note that she sang, that was a little off pitch. James ran the note through a tuner to make it PERFECT, but the machine made that one note sound too mechanical. We listened back, again and again. We “muted” the rest of the instruments and my vocal.. So we could just hear her voice..she was moved by the lyrics “Hallelujah..Hallelujah.” I said Â “James, I know the note is not perfect, but I love the emotion in her voice. I’ll take THAT over perfect pitch any day.” So, we left it.
When I arrived home with the “Mastered Copy” (copy ready to send to the duplicators) I told Y about the song and the “note.” See, at times, Y is not comfortable with showing or displaying her emotions. However, I wanted to assure her that it was safe.
I know when people hear and FEEL that song, they will be moved.
I told you a moment ago that there are songs out there that I wasn’t happy with. Whenever I hear those particular songs, I cringe. I wish I could go back in time and re-sing those songs. Vocally, I feel like I’m a better singer and I believe those mistakes can fixed.
There are things out there that I have said and done that I’m not happy with. Mistakes that I have made. How I wish I could go back in time and re-do them. Today, I believe I’m a better man and I wish I could fix those mistakes.
But, you know what? I can’t.
I’ve discovered that God uses me in spite of my many mistakes. In fact, had it NOT been for those mistakes, I wouldn’t be the man that I am today.
I believe God wants us to share our experiences with others to help them. He doesn’t demand perfection. He wants obedience and willingness.
It’s when we’re REAL, transparent and vulnerable that people can relate to us.
We often are our own worst critic. We are harder on ourselves for our performances than those in an audience or looking on would be. We know all the little mistakes or errors and Â tend to magnify them in our own mind. We wish we could go back and say the line again or say it with more confidence so that no one else will hear or see our vulnerability brought on by emotion.
I know from being married to an artist that Bryan is very hard on himself. He is a perfectionist of his craft. I am always most moved by the times I KNOW he’s moved and emotional while singing a song. I could care less if he’s on pitch, out of the pocket or misses a word. The times he is emotional and NOT perfect always move me as an onlooker.
I am the type of girl who doesn’t want anyone to see the emotion or hear it in my voice. It makes me feel vulnerable and transparent. I am very uncomfortable with that experience. The day we recorded my pieces of our Christmas album, I was very emotional for several different reasons. I actually was crying at one point. Then came my time to sing on â€œHallelujahâ€. This song is SO emotional for me. I love the feel of the piano. I love it’s so stripped down and simple. I love the words that have been written about the birth of Christ to the cross he drug up that hill is also mine. Finally, my sins drove the nails in him and yet he chose to do that for me.. for you. I’m tearing up just writing those words. So, me getting through that song without crying was near impossible.
When Bryan went back to mix our Christmas album, there came one of those imperfect moments during the song â€œHallelujahâ€. He didn’t tell me about the emotion in my voice or choosing not to fix it in the studio until he came home with the mastered CD that night. I listened and when I heard that part, I asked him why he didn’t fix it. He responded that he loved hearing that emotion. To be honest, I cringed. I played it over and over during my commute to work everyday hearing only my mistake instead of listening to the song as a whole and being okay with it.
Then it hit me. In life, there is no final mix day. You don’t get to go back and say words all over again or have a conversation with someone and be less emotional. You do rewind the mistakes you’ve made and play them over and over wishing it was different. We are our worst critic. The things that we view as imperfections or mistakes we’ve made sometimes are the things that make us able to reach someone else. Letting others see our vulnerability or our emotions allows us to be “real”. It can give you an opportunity to help others not make the same mistakes you made.
At the end of the day, my husband had the same experience that I’ve had listening to him perform. He’ll take emotion over perfection any day.
First, if you have mistakes (and you have) you need to own them. Stop blaming someone or something else. Confess them to God and sincerely ask for His forgiveness. Now, accept His forgiveness and leave the mistakes AND the guilt with Him.
Do your best to ask forgiveness to those who you directly hurt. Will you be able to? Maybe and maybe not. But try.
Now, let God use those mistakes as a way of making you BETTER. Dig in and Â determine that you are NOT that mistake. Failure is an event. Not a person.
Stop demanding perfection for yourself. Yes, We should strive to be who God has created us to be, but realize that we are going to make mistakes, drop the ball and fall flat on our face. The only person that we should strive to be better than is who we were yesterday!
Stop demanding perfection from your spouse. They are not perfect. They will make mistakes, say the wrong things at the wrong times and will mess up. Just like our Heavenly Father extends grace to us, we need to extend grace to our spouse. Marriage is two imperfect people striving daily to serve a perfect God.
Let Him use both your strengths, weaknesses, successes and failures to bless and encourage others. Â He is able to “Master” them all and bring out the best in you….
The Hutson’s 2014
To order our Christmas CD, email us at email@example.com