Recently, my family and I were at a very public function. A lady who worked at the venue was walking around and clearly needed to be wearing a bra. And, She wasn’t. Yvonne made the statement to me..”Oh my. She needs to be wearing a bra. I feel a little uncomfortable.”
I laughed and agreed. I posted what Yvonne said on Facebook.
The next morning, we were made aware that our post was considered “cruel, insensitive and judgmental.”
This article is not our attempt on justifying anything. I made the mistake of posting what was said. However, was it true? Yes. Did the woman need to be wearing a bra? Yes.
The post about that incident didn’t mention the lady’s name at all. I posted the truth. It was not to make fun of her or ridicule her.
I as a young boy was made fun of and ridiculed every day. I was laughed at about being overweight, my family’s lack of money, our different religious beliefs (we were raised Baptist, the majority of our community were devout Catholic) not being a jock, singing “Jesus Songs”.. You name it- I was constantly being ridiculed and judged. So, I have a strong stance against blatantly hurting anyone’s feelings!
Now, that I’m an adult and somewhat in the “public eye”, people still say mean and cruel things. Those hurtful comments are sometime intentional and unintentional. So, making fun of someone is NOT something I try to do.
Do I say things that I shouldn’t? Oh yes. I have always gotten into trouble over what “comes out of my big mouth.” I could’ve saved a lot of flesh on my backside if I would’ve learned to control my mouth better!
So, to those who read that post as our way of being mean and cruel, we are sorry you took it that way. That was not our intent.
We are real. Good or bad.
See, Yvonne and I have been through a lot of junk in our lifetime. Junk and real life events that admittedly we brought on ourselves and some by the actions and decisions of others. In those situations, we have experienced FAKE people who speak one way and act another. From the pulpit to the pew..we’ve seen it all.
We have NO TOLERANCE OR ROOM for those kinds of people. Don’t lie to me to save my feelings. Tell me the truth. We will love and pray for them, but we refuse to give them any pieces of our life. We have vowed that we are going to REAL. Good or bad. What you see with Bryan and Yvonne is what you get.
We’ve come to realize that some people can’t handle REAL. To us, in our world..Life isn’t about “bubblegum and butterflies.”
Life is REAL.
REAL hurts and
we fighting a VERY real enemy.
However we serve a REAL GOD! He brings REAL RESTORATION, REAL HEALING, REAL SOLUTIONS and He loves REAL FAITH. Jesus spoke the truth at ALL TIMES. He spoke in love, yet always the truth.
He’s called us to encourage the Christian, challenge the believer and win the Lost. For us, being fake and sugar coating the message of the gospel is NOT AN OPTION.
We are going to continue to be REAL in life and on social media. If I’m at Walmarks (Yes, I said Walmarks) and I see some guy who needs to pull his pants up, I’ll probably post that HE SHOULD PULL UP HIS PANTS! If a crazy question is asked at a concert- I’ll MORE THAN LIKELY share it on Facebook. If Y says something that WE FIND FUNNY or CRAZY…Yep, it’s going on our Pages. If we see a behavior that is not honoring to God, marriage or family…we’re going to confront it.
We love and appreciate YOU who support us and follow our crazy lives on Facebook. However if our “REALNESS” is too much, you can “Unlike” or “Unfriend” us. No questions asked. We will still pray for you and love you. If you decide to come back..we’ll STILL be there…KEEPING IT REAL.
Well, I’ve put off writing this article long enough. I’ve procrastinated to the point the article is now late. I was so hurt by being publicly lashed that my normal reaction is to instinctively retreat. I want to shut down and push people away. However, I’m stronger than that and refuse to give anyone that much power over me.
That being said, I am openly saying that I get in trouble over what comes out of my mouth sometimes. Let me be clear, it’s not the things I say that get me in trouble. It’s the fact I actually say what everyone else is thinking. I promised myself years ago that I was never going to be anything but authentic. Those who know me understand to not ask my opinion unless you want the brutal truth. I am very aware that once you say something you can never pull those words out of existence. You can say you are sorry but they are still there. So, I do my best to always remember that fact. I am diligent about holding my tongue if I feel as if I can’t word my responses with a delicate approach.
I also am now aware, more than ever, that our family has a wicked sense of humor. I am sure that those who know us probably appreciate that about us because they know our hearts. Others may not appreciate the humor or even “get it”. We tend to have inside jokes or one liners that reference a previous situation that only we would understand the meaning. I guess I feel like there has to be some things that are still “ours”. Things that we don’t share. We share so much already by being in ministry that sometimes I just crave those things that only we understand.
My hurt came from the fact that I am the girl who DOES always think of how my actions will cast a light on our family, the ministry and my own personal walk. I do try to encourage women and I do think about the things I say, write or even wear. Those things are a reflection and I would never want to be a stumbling block for anyone else.
The lesson is to be encouraging, to be mindful that things in social forums are up for interpretation and to never ever stop being authentic. I’m not willing to compromise on being authentic. Most of you do not know the road I have traveled- but I do. The Lord knows. I made that promise years ago that I would never be anything but forthcoming. I would be honest. Most folks cannot handle honesty. They want you to paint the sky blue, tell them all their choices are correct or that they look fabulous despite the fact the opposite would be the truth. I can’t do that.
I would rather you told me the truth and hurt my feelings than to lie to me to spare my feelings. I deserve that and so do you. Aren’t we all big enough to handle the truth? If you aren’t big enough to handle the truth then you may want to reevaluate where you find your internal strength. Does it come from the affirmation of others or do you depend on God to affirm you? Do you rest in the confidence He places people in your life to help you? People that love you enough will tell you the truth. Those folks are far and few between. You should cherish them. I’m also saying you should evaluate the family and friends you surround yourself with every now and again. Are they pleasers? Do they tell you what you want to hear or do they give you an unbiased response? Anyone can spew words of praise and affirmation upon you. It take 10 times more courage to shower someone with the truth.
And lastly, social media is not reality folks. You can get so wrapped up in it that what others like or comment about becomes an affirmation addiction. You can lose complete sense of who you really are and who your “friends” really are. Seeing someone twice a year at a concert for the last 10 years does not make you friends. It makes you an acquaintance. A friend you know their day in and day out behavior. In fact, you probably know and should know their ugly behavior along with all the qualities about them that you love. That is the definition of a friend. Choose your friends wisely.
Lastly, when you see an issue a friend may have, approach them with love. Pray for an opportunity to speak with them where both your hearts are receptive. Do not use social media to tongue lash anyone- especially your friends.
1) Choose your friends wisely.
Proverbs 12:26 “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
Proverbs 27:10 “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you— better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.”
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
2) Surround yourself with people whom you trust to give you solid godly advice and will hold you accountable.
Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
3) Associate yourself with couples who also fight for their marriage. If a married friend is always publicly ridiculing their spouse to you, chances are their negative attitude will rub off on you.
4) Be REAL. Season your words with love but be real. Be honest and be forthright.
See ya next time…B and Y…keeping it REAL.
The Hutson’s 2014